"The COVID-19 lockdown break came at the right time for me," confesses the 22-year-old Anushka Sharma, with the benefit of hindsight, to Cricbuzz. It was at that point, as a recently-turned 17-year-old, that she doubted if she was good enough to take up cricket professionally.

After a lean season of Under-19, Anushka had come to believe she wasn't cut out to make it big in cricket, and contemplated giving up on the sport. It was the first time in her young journey as a cricketer she had realised that the sport wasn't just all fun and play - the way she had approached it all along. The seriousness of it had hit her after her first string of failures.

The clarity and the resolution took place in April 2020 on the rooftop of the Sharma household in Gwalior's Madhav Nagar. As part of the family's new post-dinner routine where they would take a stroll at the rooftop to share light jokes or discuss pressing concerns, they firefought the doubts of their daughter that night.

"One bad year cannot decide if you are good enough or not," was the conclusion of the deep conversation that ensued. "Give it some time"

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If her elder brother had his way for long enough, Anushka would have shaped into a pace bowler. Anushka's introduction to cricket as a 4-year-old, after all, happened because her brother wanted someone to fulfill his desire to keep batting for long hours. He taught Anushka to roll her arms, and filled in her the first sense of validation in the game by repeatedly praising her bowling.

Anushka was too naive and too young to pick on his trick. But she was happy to tag along with her brother; play with him and his friends.

When the bat size seemed too small, she would swing around a thapka (a bat like wooden piece used to wash clothes). Her father purchased for her a plastic bat and even designed customised pads, which could be worn from both sides. "Till now, I don't know what material he used, but it was extremely light," Anushka says.

Her introduction to serious cricket came at the age of 14 when her father learnt of a trial for Under-16 girls in Gwalior. Anushka agreed to go for it as it offered her an opportunity to miss school, at least for a day.

It was the first time she was playing alongside girls. Having sharpened her skills playing various sports - badminton, football, cricket - playing alongside her brother and his friends all these years, it took little time for her to impress the selectors at the trials. She was selected to play in Gwalior's Under-16 team, and soon for Madhya Pradesh at the zonal Under-16s in the 2018-19 season, where she won the award for the best all-rounder .

By next year, she had graduated to the Under-19 side and handed the responsibility to captain the team. Even though she was playing competitive cricket, the sport was pursued recreationally by Anushka. She hadn't thought too far beyond winning and losing the upcoming games, floating in the joys of immediate success.

However, her inability to find success at the higher level, which also happened to be her first tryst with failure as a cricketer, raised self doubts. It prompted her to question if cricket is really what she wanted to do. After all hailing from a family that's deeply involved in academics (her mother was a teacher, her father is an editor of a newspaper and her brother an IIT Bombay graduate working as a Data Scientist), her involvement in sports was an anomaly, even if her family never dissuaded her from sports or pushed her towards academics.

"Suddenly at a higher level, when the runs weren't coming, it made me wonder if I can make it as a cricketer. I was not able to score runs. I was more worried about the outcome at that time - that I want to win the trophy. That built a lot of pressure. That evening I broke down.

"My family told me that it was just the start, and that I have to play a lot more going ahead. After that conversation, I understood the sport a bit better. If I have to captain, what kind of mindset I needed to carry. I tried to simplify everything. Making myself realise that winning and losing is not in my hands. My attempt was to do my best at what I'm doing. Since then, that thought has neither crossed my mind again, and nor will it come again."